By Scott “TDF” Roberts
Pictures all courtesy of Mike Kwan … I stole them from him … thanks, Mike :-) )
Hares: Thomas Fong, Albert Chua, Eric Teo, Low Min Chee, Toh Hoon Chew and Yeo Lee Nya
Whenever I see “Eric Teo” listed as one of the Hares I have to shudder thinking what he’ll do to us. After all, he knows virtually all the trails in Selangor and further afield, is the master of creating worm holes to get in front of you no matter which bash it is, and has set some pretty different rides than what we’re used to (e.g. the Slim River out-and-back bash)! As Liz mentioned to me the night before when I was packing my things, his co-hares were his saving grace :-) … she particularly singled out Thomas :-), but I’m sure the rest of them also helped in taming the beast!
What a venue to get to as well. Just shy of 30 minutes from Desa Sri Hartamas and probably only 10 minutes for Rob in his Audi R4 which flew past me at the Jln Duta Toll Plaza! Ample parking, albeit it with zero shade, and I’m amazed that no one ran into one of the many fallen (or knocked over) lampposts that were on that side road. At least I think no one did!
Impressive number of people it seems. If I could gander a guess, I’d say close to 150 riders were there.
Having seen bashes getting a little more confusing with the type of calls made and when, we did a quick call for hands to see how many new people there were … and … we had a few. Regardless, it’s not the newbies that are making bad calls! Gave everyone the essential calls “On-On”, “Are You” and “Checking”, and to make sure that paper was closed before proceeding, but there’s a lot more to bashing which people should be aware of. Here’s a great document that was created a number of years ago for a reminder. Please take a read even if you think you’re an expert at bashing. There are also a number of other good details on the KLMBH on our Bash Basics page.
On-On was called after the bash brief, and we did a long slog on tarmac. At first we went about 2-km towards the toll plaza and turned left just before it. From there we had a very wee bit of gravel/ laterite road, and then we hit tarmac again which took us north towards and past a dam that I can’t find the name for … so lets just call it Bukit Tagar Dam :-). It was quite scenic up there, but really really hot with zero shade and the tarmac reflecting the morning sun. Had the company of Lloyd, Gillie, Mike Phoon, Tay and a couple of other guys whom we played leap frog with depending on whether it was a climb, flat section or a slight descent! But most of it was climbing.
Somewhere around 8-km into the ride (maybe more) we turned left and exited the tarmac for the terrain that we would encounter for most of the remaining ride; lovely shaded palm estate roads! Loved the terrain; fast, flowy, sometimes slimy with that green hard-packed clay surface that could cause a few wipe outs if your not prepared for them, a couple of mud-holes that would have snagged your bike if you didn’t see the tell-tail sign of a few tire tracks showing you the safe path through it, and almost all rideable. I’ll get to the “almost” sections in a few minutes!
The checks were quite easy; four of them, all back checks, two of them were back hooks into steep climbs, two were on downhill sections, and … all in palm! First broken by Greg Phillips (aka Flange), second by Tay, third by Steve Yap and fourth by Marcus Kuckhiak (aka Jizzeye). Nice to have a diverse group of guys breaking checks for once, and it was also a real joy to have the checks continuing within the 150-meters norm. We, myself included, have gotten out of hand a few times in the past with extremely difficult or far away paper. It was also great to see the FROPs working together to make sure paper was closed, and from some riders who I spoke to at the end of the ride, they didn’t even see the checks … which meant they were closed properly.
But what happened to that Circular Check mentioned in the briefing, Thomas?! And it was all rideable?!?! Two sections were most definitely not; one was a right turn and a climb that went through a severely rutted trail, and the second was the descent out of the Berjaya wasteland. I’ve embedded a pic of that second section below for your pleasure viewing!
Okay, it wasn’t all that perfect on the checks either. At the fourth and last check, Steve Yap went forward and the last thing he heard from me was “we’ll all come back to the check and then connect the dots, and call you!!!” Famous last words. We did call, but you never answered J! “On-On Steve. On-On, On-On, On-On …” Steve was never seen again. He apparently found a lovely section of single track forward of the check, didn’t have a GPS, and was rumored to have been seen riding off into the sunset with a grin on his face with the pleasure of being on single track!
From there we descended out of palm, made a right turn, and … became roadies for the final stretch home. Around 2 to 3-km on the highway all the way back to the cars. And WTF? Some riders climbed the barrier to go with the flow of traffic?!?!? Just ride against traffic. It’s far safer in Malaysia, and there’s a gap in the fence where we turned into the ride site with our cars that fine morning.
Vital Statistics of the ride:
Well done, Hares. Thoroughly enjoyed the terrain.
By Oskar Engberg
When asking if the “young, very strong rider in the orange jersey” can write the Bash report – how could I say no? But next time I’ll wear another jersey to avoid this kind of responsibility. I arrived to the venue expecting an easy ride, but it seems most of us were taken by surprise how easy it really was… at least the first half. As promised the ride was quite scenic. I saw trees, dogs and a juvenile prison. Oh, and mud.
Scott Roberts and I took off at a nice pace until we reached a four way junction without any paper trail. We tried left, but no paper. We tried straight, but no paper. We tried right, but no paper! Scott raised his voice like only he can and finally got the reply: go straight. On on! The first part of the ride went through a Kampong Orang Asli with a lot of street dogs… and Two-Dogs. Somewhere here we also passed Scott’s childhood home, erm, I mean the juvenile prison. We reached the first check pretty quickly and it took a while to figure out where to continue. I’d say the distance between the check and the start of the paper trail was pretty long. We also saw a nice waterfall while searching for paper. Already at this point of the ride I felt like taking a swim… Oh yeah, for those who don’t know me, I’m Swedish and not really used to summer days above 25°C.
The next check was placed at the top of a hill and passed almost unnoticed, meaning we had a long descent before climbing back up to the check to find our way forward. If my memory doesn’t fail me I think there was a short bushwhack from the gravel road down to paved road which was very scenic, passing a small lake. The ride went on through some serious mud fields, changing the character of the ride from hot and wet to hot and dirty. Eventually we reached a palm oil plantation and check number three. I think there were four of us splitting up for checking, me, Scott, Roberto and N.N. Could it have been the Chinese guy with a 29er? We decided to meet back at the check point once paper was found. After a while I found paper, yelled On On to let the others know and turned back to the check point. Going back I met a lot of riders, attracted by my male roar and I guided them in the right direction.
Reaching the check point I was all alone. My fellow riders upfront had abandoned me, the disappointment knew no limits and the abbreviation FRBs all of a sudden made perfect sense. Realising what happened I turned back trying to catch up. The trail was really nice here, and also going uphill which is my favourite way of riding (downhill is for weaklings). Luckily though, the fourth check turned up very conveniently when I got tired… There were already people checking in all directions so I got the chance to catch my breath. After a short while the first checker came back and reported “dead end”. Also the other checkers came back with no paper to report, leaving only one option: go back.
Scott and I started climbing back, looking for trails and paper but there where none to be found. After a while we heard something which sounded like “on on” so we went back to the check. See and behold! The dead end wasn’t a dead end, it was a bushwhack. So after some whacking we got to ride a single track for a while which later on entered a gravel road. I don’t know how, but after five minutes I met a few riders, obviously I was going in the wrong direction and Kenny Starfighter had followed me. I guess we got lucky here not having to go back to look for the right direction.
Gravel turned to asphalt and at a dead end we found check number five. I don’t know if there are rules about how long the distance between a check point and the continuation should be, but this one must have been one of the longer checking I’ve done. After finding paper all of us except one rider waited for the people checking in other directions. Why? I don’t know, maybe he was eager to climb (who isn’t?). Now we all knew what awaited, the final climb up to the second waterfall of the ride. During the briefing we were told that there was a 1 km climb up to the waterfall, followed by a 500 m descent back before connecting to the road leading back to the stash of beverages. What we weren’t told though was that the final climb was preceded by a 2 km climb. It also turned out that the final climb was 2 instead of 1 km… Meaning we were awarded with a 4 km climb before we reached the waterfall!
Somewhere going back down from the waterfall my GPS showed 27 km leading me to believe that I am max 10 minutes away from a cold refreshing beer. It turned out to be 10 km instead of 10 minutes. Well, if you haven’t understood that yet I really love riding so I didn’t mind at all!
The final stretch of the ride led us through a housing area and backwards on the same road we started riding. Coming back to the start I saw nothing but muddy smiles on people’s faces as on my own. With that said, I think this was an excellent bash! 99% rideable, nice scenery, some hills to push hard, some descents to just let go and also of course the lovely climb up to the waterfall. Well done, Hares!
Finally some word of advice:
On Monday I’m riding this hash again… Can’t wait!
</Over and Out>
Oskar with a ‘k’
A short ride report (as opposed to the short ride report) - Bash #227 Sg Buaya
Only my second bash this year and my second scribe report. How did that happen? As usual after the first few twist and turns everything becomes a bit of a blur. It really is quite tough to make ‘we cycled up a hill, then down a hill, then up another hill…’ sound interesting, but here goes.
One of the nice things about coming back to the bash after a long absence is catching up with old friends and today was no exception. My resolution to do the short ride wavered after pressure from Joyce Leong and Chua Hui Peng.Old arch rivals from adventure racing days, they were now trying to convince me to ride with them on the long ride. I readily agreed and joined them and Visan, all the while telling myself that I could still wimp out at the split.
The start of the ride was a nice warm up. The first section as far as the split was totally rideable even for an idiot like me. I enjoyed riding in a long file of riders and feeling able to keep pedalling and keep up. It wasn’t long though before we reached large group of riders standing around chatting. A check? No, the split. So it was decision time. Long or short? Having volunteered to be scribe for the short ride, I thought I had the perfect excuse for wimping out, but no. The hare assured me that the long ride shared a good distance of the short at the beginning and end so it really was not a problem for me to do the long. Damn it!
With Joyce’s encouraging words of “We’ll do the long. If die, die lah!” we set off following the ‘Long’ signs on a very pleasant downhill that was strangely devoid of any other riders. We became instantly suspicious that everyone else knew something we didn’t and I kept waiting for the trail to turn into a complete nightmare. It didn’t. The route continued to be fun and I spent most of the time riding the bike, not pushing it. We even caught up with another rider (well, he did have a puncture) and felt better about being on the right trail.
The next memorable section of the ride was descending a cliff. Some very kind riders where hanging around and helping to pass people and bikes over the edge (Thank you!). I was told that some people would actually ride this precipice, but mere mortals such as myself, gratefully passed our bikes to waiting hands and slithered inelegantly down.
Here we left the shade of the forest and for the first time entered into bright sun as the trail took us between large fishponds and onto a gravel road. This didn’t last too long and we were soon in the green again taking advantage of a shady spot with a lovely lake view for a quick snack stop. No sooner were we back on the bikes, than we were off again. It was the first of two ‘branch’ bridges that the hares had warned us of at the briefing. A lone rider was waiting there to help us across. Feeling somewhat guilty that we had been resting and merrily stuffing our faces just round the corner, I handed him my bike (Thank you … again) and wobbled my way across the rickety bundle of branches that passed for a bridge.
From here we had another short section of gravel road. There were large puddles and it was of course obligatory to whizz through them at excessive speed and get covered in mud. Before the long, the puddles were just a vague memory and we faced a hot sunny up hill. A large group of riders had stopped at the bottom to rest and contemplate the climb. We did the same and then slowly inched our way up. I managed to ride it, despite struggling for breath, so I was feeling very pleased with myself as I rested at the top and chatted to Joyce. That was short lived as the hares arrived calmly pedaling up the hill and having a conversation as they came. How is that humanly possible?! Another blow, we discovered we were the last riders on the trail. How was that possible? We had passed groups of riders, but the hares were adamant there was no-one behind us. At the next point where we met the road we would have to decide whether to continue on the long or take a short cut out.
We watched the hares disappear ahead, expounding the joy of riding a bike with no brakes as they went. Our next obstacle was to negotiate a steep gravelly downhill. Half way down we caught up with the hares who were helping a fallen rider. They were quick to point out that once we passed this guy we were in fact no longer that last riders. Good for my ego, if not for the poor bloke with the bleeding knees.
The second of the branch bridges awaited us. Not only that, but yet again there was a patient rider waiting there to help us get our bikes over it. (More thanks). I remember teetering over the branches and retrieving my bike but the next section of the ride escapes my memory. I remember only waiting at the top of a hill and seeing the hares once more cruising up and chit-chatting. In their rounding up of stragglers, how many times had they been up and down that hill? And they still had enough breath to talk! Even though we were pretty much the last riders they were quite prepared for us to continue on the long which was pretty decent of them. However, the lure of a short cut was just too tempting. We sneaked out to the road and back to the starting point for a well-earned 100 Plus.
What a ride? For this KLMBH #227, we all headed to Sungai Buaya and after inputting the GPS location, I decided rather than follow the GPS, I’d follow a fellow Basher bikes racked up who looked like he knew where to go, mistake……This unknown (unnamed for the benefit of this article?) Honda CR-V driver travelled at double figures above the speed limit and proceeded to weave in and out of traffic all the way to this lovely isolated place just outside of KL; upside was we managed to find the place in record time obviously. On reflection however a pretty normal commute in downtown KL except this commute was to Sungai Buaya.
First up I must congratulate the hares Bertrand Peuchot (lead hare), Anders Tidemand, Jean-Philippe Race, Laurent Ane, Pierre-Jean Daniel and Frederic Clos (in no particular order). Great job guys, lots of paper in all the right places, the checks were all moderately difficult, enough to slow the lead Bashers down but not too difficult as to frustrate anyone, good balance guys. There was plenty of great flowing single track, scenery, forest, insects, animals (nature in general) and new trails/connections created especially for this event and most of it rideable excluding a couple of bridges and logs on the trail.
Prior to the starting brief, Lloyd set up his 8.2055673kg tribute to Nuno, Nono, Zero Nino, or was it Numero Uno Spirter Scoot (Sorry Lloyd, the Nino Schurter Scott Scale hardtail get it right Steve!) on a stand that looked so professional, I think Lloyd stole it straight from one of Nino’s team mechanics private bike stand collection. Don’t know who Nino is? agree who cares…..
Another interesting point to note is Matt or Skinny as he’s known, learnt that riders are supposed to add air to their forks and shocks from time to time and set up the suspension to suit their specific weight etc. After a question from a fellow Basher (me), “How does your bike handle” (or something similar), Skinny answered “Good, better than the hardtail but a little bouncy”. “What pressure do you put in your rear shock” was the next question I asked. “Air?” “Pump?” I think you get the picture but all was not lost on Skinny and we quickly pumped up his forks and added some pressure to the rear, just enough so he felt like he was being thrown over the bars every time he hit a bump, perfect.
The usual pre-Bash briefing was done by Bertrand with the emphasis on staying on paper, carrying 3 litres of water (there’s always someone who doesn’t, auughh!) and some warnings about a rickety bridges and people with poor balance or a fear of heights should avoid. Rickety bridges? More on that later.
I think it was about this time when I heard Scott call my name and realised I had volunteered to do the Bash log; Volunteers? Steve? Who? Anyway……
So anyway race briefing done the familiar call of “On On” was shouted and more than 130 keen Bashers headed off on the long ride into the “territoire unfamiliar” as our French hares would say “unfamiliar territory” to the rest of us (I hope Google translate got it right, gulp..).
Down thru around one kilometre of tarmac, onto a bike path, past a game of soccer where the players had their bikes laying all across the path (watch out Bashers!) and after around 2 kilometres onto some nice single track.
By all reports Scott Robertson led the charge together with a couple of other Bashers to the first check around the 5 kilometer mark where Kenny, Darren, Scott and a few other Bashers rode around in circles for about 10 minutes before paper was found. The paper was laid, On On called and the hounds were off.
Some nice smooth downhill sections followed flowly trails thru some great bush and scrub (Australian for open forest, grassy areas and bushland!) and by this time I heard some of the Bashers already saying this is one of the better Bashes this year. Skinny sent us off on a wild goose chase down the wrong way (where’s the paper?) but soon we were back on track.
A couple of mechanical issues were encountered by this time including a few punctures and these were quickly repaired with the help of fellow hounds. One of mechanical issue of particular note and a first for the KLMBH (not absolutely sure on this one?) we had our first “detached crank”. Yes one of the unfortunate Bashers had forgotten to check the tension in his crank bolts, didn’t notice the increasing creaking in his cranks/BB and failed to notice the increasingly large clunk in his pedals strokes, WTF? Luckily he finally did notice the problem when the crank fully detached itself from the BB shaft still attached to his shoe….Anyway problem fixed and he was back on the trail waiting for the next mechanical issue hopefully armed with the knowledge that bike maintenance is not just a short word and a long word stuck together but two words that actually do mean something….
Thru some open fields and farmers working in their fields I think they were dry rice paddies but I was too busy huffing, puffing and sweating (man is was hot!), another small climb around the 9km mark and I think someone said another check? But this time I was riding in the middle of the pack so I couldn’t be sure, anyway plenty of nice scenery.
Around this time we crossed the first of the 2 bridges, this one was ok and no one fell off, went thru or slipped off so well done guys particularly since this one looked like it had been in place for a while and the local kampong people constructed it more than fifty years ago. What were the hares worried about? the locals obviously ride their motorcycles across it every day on their way to the fields, work or the local food/mumuk place.
Palm oil plantations, a long section thru a boggy road that felt like a hill it was so hard to pedal thru and it seemed this boggy section went for kilometres (it felt that far anyway..) single track next to Sungai Selangor, a long flat section thru more palm oil plantations that intersected with denser forest and tracks obviously created by our French hares to link some of the sections together. Wow great trails guys!
At about this time my legs started to get a little tired so the checks at this point were all well and truly closed so it was On On without any waiting, pedal pedal pedal! Some great uphill sections around the fifteen kilometre mark followed by short sharp downhill sections added to the experience and these sections weren’t too technical. The trails then headed into some denser forest with a few logs lying across the tracks and the degree of difficulty increased which kept everyone on their toes.
At this stage however I was really hot and I could feel the cramps starting so I stopped rehydrated and topped up on electrolytes, On On! From then on the details started to become blurry, forgive me but I was hurting a little. From the twenty-two kilometre mark there was plenty of open double track along Sungai Suntong (nice little river) and it looked like the end was in sight; onto the tarmac and after a couple of kilometres made it home!
No wild boars, king cobras, buffalos or hornet bites as promised by the hares (I did hear we had a couple of hornet stings) and no one managed to find the white crocodile that makes the legend of the village.
Scott TDF, Darren and Lloyd had a race to the finish line with Scott TDF Roberts claiming victory as he signed out first but Lloyd claiming victory across an imaginary finish line. Lloyd quickly went looking for the race stewards to appeal and lodge a protest until rightly so someone pointed out the obvious, finish line? This is a Bash there is no such thing, Bashes are not the world championships and there are no finish lines, no podiums, no medals and no prizes. Beer and soft drinks are the only prizes offered, no sorry purchased, guys come on, take off the lycra, put down the numbered jersey and lighten up, our Bash forefathers would be outraged! I think there may be a Bash first prize for the number of beers consumed after the race (or the first one opened) and the only nomination received for this prize was Baggsie, On On!
On a more serious note unfortunately an issue that is coming up more often than not occurred with a couple of Bashers coming ill prepared without adequate water. “Water, what you mean do I have any water?” was the answer Bashbones received after asking the question of a Basher calling for assistance resulting from cramps in the legs; come on guys, 3 litres minimum and if you’re unsure take 4!
On a final positive note Beyonce or Bashbones found a new mascot for the KLMBH and a new kitten or pussy called “Bash” has been added to the Knowles family. This kitten fell in love with him straight away and wouldn’t stop rubbing his(her?)/self all over the Bashbones; message from above? horny pussy? or perhaps just a kitten in search of a new family?
Again thanks again to the to the French hares Bertrand Peuchot (lead hare), Anders Tidemand, Jean-Philippe Race, Laurent Ane, Pierre-Jean Daniel and Frederic Clos a job well done. All the right ingredients, scenery and preparation that guaranteed one of the most memorable and successful hashes this year perhaps the last couple; see the French do get it right sometimes….
Signing off Steve Thomas (Voldey)
“Regard this ride as an adventure challenge rather than a bike ride.” Well, the Hares did forewarn us suitably! They also told us accurately how much water to carry (3 to 4 liters) and a slew of other warnings! Aside from this, you know it’s going to be a bi*** if the co-Hares are trying to find excuses with one-another not to do any more recce’s, lay paper or sweep on the day of the bash! As we stood around in the heat of the morning, sweating precious fluids we needed to retain for the ride, we were even told that the Chief Hare, Geoff, had to be revived the week prior due to heat exhaustion!!!
Lovely, just f***ing lovely! Do I do the short or the long? Seriously, that was going through my mind about 30 minutes before we started!
Jump forward to the end to understand a little about the vital statistics of the ride!
Now jump back to Geoff’s casual briefing! Sitting on the boot of Reza’s car he announced paper is all square or rectangularish for both the short and long ride, there are signs advising people when they merge, total distance is roughly 25-km for the long, it’s tough, bring lots of water, etc. However, he’s rather vague about how many checks there are. In fact, he refuses to tell us how many, which is fine by me. Earlier in the morning we practiced water boarding techniques on a few of his co-hares and knew that there would be between 4 – 5 checks.
Off we went on the wide double track, hordes of people following us on the long. Yikes! Do they know what they are up for?! The first check was a mere 690 meters from the car park and was easily broken back and climbing up some more. Here we tried to stop people from riding on until the paper was closed, but no, selfishness ruled for the day so if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!
Chatting with Oskar about something or another, we hit the 2nd check at less than 2-km into the ride. Remembering the Hares telling us how much they had to parang, forward we went … immediately onto paper. On-On … this time we waited until people closed the check and the horde was there rearing to go and follow us. Off we went and within 150-m we ran on out of paper. Kept going forward … no paper. Went a little further … still no paper. Went back and past people now queuing to follow us on the trail, and … the last piece of paper was just a piece of paper. No normal “run me up a tree and tell everyone this is a falsie” type of trail. Hmmmm. Is it really a falsie? Okay, back and forth one more time to see if we could find paper hidden beneath the bushes, but none. I returned to the check with humor already starting to evaporate from my skin! There was one of the co-Hares. With the mere hint of water-boarding he said “it’s not back” … phew! Only one other way to go; forward and left. Voila. Paper. ON-ON again!
Now for a ride, hike-a-bike-ride-hike-a-bike section. This was truly beautiful being in the jungle, but I pity my fellow FROPS who got stuck behind about 100 people who caught up during the time we spent pondering the 2nd check! And pity the people who are used to enjoying solitude at the back without pressure from people wanting to overtake them! About the only problem with this section was that every time you got back on your bike to ride, another obstacle would present itself; fallen bamboo, fallen trees, a gully, super soft mud, etc. And, somewhere in here the trail started climbing and … paper eventually ran out. Nooooooo … not another Falsie! Thankfully no.
The trail had actually veered off and down a VERY steep slope. Paper wasn’t well marked, so together with Mike Kwan, Maya and others, we put the paper on branches and such so people could see that it went down. And down it did go with a rope that was perfect for getting tangled in! Bum slides, lifting bikes over and around obstacles, lifting feet and body around obstacles, etc. This continued for an awfully long time, and soon the trail started to flatten out and then dumped us onto a lovely single track.
Turned right and proceeded to Check #3 about 100 m later. No problem. Back check. On-On. Wait for Mike Kwan to close paper (he’s a great lad … one of the not-selfish types!) … and off we went again.
Here was probably “the” nicest section of the ride so far; fast, flowy single track downhill! Really really nice after all of that sh** we just went through J! We then hit the Pekan Batu 18 road and barreled along tarmac for 3.7-km until we turned left and went back onto a double track trail.
As the track turned to gravel, the Hares had so nicely written “PAIN” in chalk. F*** off!! At least that’s what was going through my mind by then (grin)! But the climb wasn’t too bad. I mean, if you walked the steep bits, which I did! And eventually, after wiping spots of blood from my nose from the altitude (after 138-meters of climbing to be precise) there was Check #4 tucked into the trees. Okay, sooooo, Julian. There’s lots of shade on the bash is there?!?!?! What about the road and what about this bit? Slurp …. Down goes more water to avoid dehydration or heat stroke!
Now, this check was a bi*** to break. Check forward, back and … no f***ing way am I checking up. Looped around the copse of rubber, nothing. Send Roberto forward again just to be sure (oh, my fellow FROPS finally caught up) … nothing there. Soon we hear Mike Kwan calling On-On from above us … oh groan … sh**. More climbing! Kudos to Mike for braving altitude sickness to look for paper. And on we went eventually getting back into the shade.
At this spot I hear that my wifey has a really bad cut on her leg. Eh? Apparently she fell and did a doozy to it, so now I have this plaguing my mind. Should I continue or drop back on the road to PB18 and then trudge from there back to the cars. I opt to go forward with the lads since I was almost certain that people were assisting (which they were … thanks all … you know who you are!).
With Oskar, Paul F, Mike K, Roberto and Rob to keep me company, we continued all the way to check #5 which was a mere 1-km further away in a combination of hiking and biking. Awfully short distance, but relatively easy to break (back) which was found by purely observing that a homemade trail had recently been cut there!
We proceeded for another 300-meters on foot/ riding/ walking/ riding/ walking until the trail improved and we exited on a gravel road … I think! Dehydration was hitting me! Here we encountered Riza and Julian, both of whom got a nice glare from me! As we climbed another hill (gravel and double track), I slowed down to say hello to some friends and my fellow FROPS started to pull away. Off I went to try to catch up, and once back in the shade I hung a right … and started a vertical slog (again).
Foam was coming from my mouth at this point, and I wondered how the heck my fellow FROPS got so far in front of me. Could they have possibly ridden up this steep section of path? No way. Tire marks indicated someone had ridden it, but it must have been down.
Well, this now superseded the last beautiful spot of trail and became my new favorite for the day. However, I still wanted to lynch the hares! Beauty is, after all, only skin deep! :-)
Fast forward button. Lovely jungle, lovely rubber, houses, cross to planks of wood tied together to go behind someone’s property, out onto a road, cross the street, back into rubber, another steep f***ing climb in rubber, hit another real nice single track and then I stop to call wifey. Find out that she’s now at Damansara Specialist Hospital getting cleaned up and stitched, and that she’ll be able to leave later. Phew! Thanks to Chee for taking her there, and the emergency care by Lloyd, Winston, Bernard and others.
Back to the trail. I’m completely on my own and keep expecting my former fellow FROPS to catch up to me thinking “they” had taken a wrong turn. But no. They don’t show up L. I eventually pop out onto a trail with riders hiking up a hill, a KLMBH sign points me to the left and up, and I proceed another couple of hundred meters to the blue wall/ fence. That’s the one that Geoff forewarned us to hike … which I did … but only after the first 100-meters or so!
I eventually get dumped out by the Army Camp, turn left and head home to find my fellow FROPs already fully re-hyrdrated L.
Conclusion to this ride. Stunningly beautiful area meant to be hiked! There is definitely potential there to ride, but it will be difficult to find something that’s long enough to set a bash that’s completely rideable. Worthy of being explored some more, but I’ll be a bit dubious the next time someone sets a ride there :-).
That said, great effort by the hares. You put a LOT of time and effort into it, and it showed by the trails you found, created and opened up. Well done … choke gag!
Woke up at at 6am… damn its going to be one of those day. Didn’t feel like I slept at all, and combined with food poisoning the day before I’m one big mess. Normally I would just curl up and continue sleeping, but since I missed the last 2 bash I dragged my sorry ass out of bed so I won’t miss this one. I blame temporary insanity. First mistake of the day.
Second mistake of the day - thought about packing another bottle of Perpetuem, but decided against it for some reason I can’t remember. Maybe it was just stupidity. Then look at the bikes, nearly took the hardtail but decided in the end to bring the SC Nomad. Only good decision I made that day.
Arrived at the Bash site way too early, went through the normal preparations and then killed time admiring Lloyd’s 8++kg tribute to Nino Shurter. They should make a bike that light illegal, but knowing he would also ride his 15kg bike from time to time I guess it evens it out. By this time I started to feel sleepy so its time to start loading up on my fav chemicals - just to find out its still frozen in the bottle! Damn, should have stopped for coffee on the way here. Then had fun listening to Lloyd trying to corrupt Shiney’s kid in his choice of bikes to be pro-Scott.
Bash briefing, checks, circular, one way in and out… doesn’t mean much to me cos it looks to be one of those days that I’m not going to see any checks at all. Not that I’m a great check breaker on normal days either, but you know the potential is there. :) Just need to remember - shredded for long, square for short - and also chicken.
On on! called and everyone is off for a few km on a gravel quarry road, until I reached a point where HYH is directing the split between long and short. Looks like I won’t be able to escape on the scenic route today! Right we turn, straight into a sustained palm oil plantation double track climb. Highest point for this section according to my GPS was 179m, nothing we’ve never seen before but in my condition at the time I feel like just laying down on the side and sleep. Perpetuem still frozen, so no choice but to break out the gel.
Top of the climb, some sweet single tracks followed by nice downhills, ending back to another gravel quarry roads. Rode with Morris and Jochit for a while to get my mind off the desire to sleep, then it was back to offroad into Hutan Lipur Bukit Lagong. There was a nice singletrack climb here, but sorry to say I’m in no condition to enjoy it. The downhill however was a different question - nice and technical which brings us right to the river. Unfortunately for me (or is it fortunate?) the one-way-in-one-way-out route to the pool has been closed so I just continued on to through a village and right to the hares Mike Kwan, Albert and Thomas was manning a junction. It seems they’ve attracted some fans from the local Orang Asli kids, hanging out and keeping them company. Short chit chat, and off into the trails again - this time some easy going palm oil estate.
Lucky for me the chemicals I’ve been pumping into my body started to kick in around this time and I didn’t feel as miserable as before - better late than never! From here on I encountered 2 times people backtracking thinking they were off paper. It seems they’ve been so used to well laid paper they started to think they were off route when they don’t see shredded paper for more than 100m, just square paper; when in truth the next shredded paper is at 150m mark. Not their fault, but something people need to get used to on a bash with different standards of paper laying.
Here I came to realize I chit chat a lot during a bash - or was it the lack of sleep? At this section it was with Bea, discussing the latest effort her of her husband Jo in trying to get her to wear knee pads (really, its good for you Bea!). The previous section it was with Morris, and the next section which Chee. Seems like the Bash is the place where I get to catch up with people. Social ride indeed.
After the respite in the palm oil plantation, the Hares had another climb ready for us. This time it was a nice rocky and hard pack climb. Its a nice section and rideable - as proven by Winston and James who managed to ride almost the whole section. Hats off to them and others who attempted to ride this section!! Even though I was not sleepy anymore, I still wasn’t 100% either so its off the bike and push for me. Hooked up with Chee here, and since he’s also having a bad day like me we decided to take it easy together.
Another thing to note here - a lot of people were complaining on the climb, but somehow I didn’t think it was too bad. Granted I was suffering, but even in this condition I didn’t give it a second though slogging up the climbs. After giving it some thought, I attribute it to having to do worse climbs in the past few weeks doing recce for the next Bash. (hint, hint.. hehehe..)
At the top (195m) its back to palm oil plantation, but this time its downhill time! Glad I brought my Nomad, I think the fastest speed I recorded (34.5km/h) was done here. Lots of places for jumps, some hardpack berms with loose corners, and ruts to make it interesting. Now it seems taking the long route is worth the effort, and all the suffering before insignificant.
The trail after this was just a filler, it started to get hot and all we want to do is get back - cool tunnel under the highway, riding next to the highway, a river crossing, regretting cooling myself with said river water because my skin started to itch, going aero on the road section with Chee drafting at the back, back to back to palm oil, and hot slog back on gravel quarry road to the car.
Overall, a nice ride - weather was not too hot, ride distance just nice, with a good mix of climbs and downhill. A well planned Bash - wished I was in a better shape to enjoy it.
Not having ridden the Bash in a very long time, about 4 years, I was a little apprehensive. Will my knee hold up? Am I fit enough to get round? Will I get lost? Will I remember how to use the gears? Pushing all the questions aside I overcame the first hurdle and got myself to the bash site (starting point? Does it even have a proper name?) without scraping my bike off the roof rack at the tolls.
Somehow at registration I ended up signing up as a member – how did that happen? Clearly the Bash has become more hard-sell since my last outing. So, RM70 the poorer I went back to the car and set about assembling the bike. I was pleased to find that I had remembered to bring the front wheel – always a concern. Another concern was that it seemed to be terribly hot. After exchanging a few ‘it’s terribly hot’ conversations with familiar faces and stocking up on Hammer Gels, I retreated to the shade by my car to await the briefing. Unlike registration, the KLMBH briefing hasn’t changed at all. An exhausted-looking hare does his best to explain what we are to face while 50 plus people gather round, carry on with their personal conversations and largely ignore him. Note to self – next time leave bike aside somewhere and squeeze through the crowd on foot to be within in earshot of the hare. I managed to glean that on the short ride I would be following square paper, there were no checks (Fab, I have never quite understood the point of them. Someone has already figured out the route so why do we have to pretend to have lost the way and put in all that extra distance looking for it?) and, from the waving of red and white hazard tape, there were some kind of hazards.
On On! And then everyone else moved off. Not wanting to be one of the hazards I waited and followed at the back where I met Ying How and Ai Ling. I generously offered to ride with them and provide assistance if HYH found himself struggling at any point. We had a nice easy start along tarmac roads passing partially inhabited terraces of houses and others only partially built. The golf course was in better shape and looked to be more popular than the housing. I was just beginning to think that this bashing lark was not quite as tough as I remembered when there was a hill. What gear am I in? What do I press to make it easier? Things were suddenly getting terribly technical when thankfully we met someone with a flat who wanted help - a marvellous excuse to stop. Ai Ling and I supervised while HYH helped the damsel in distress, then with much frantic gear changing and some alarming crunching noises coming from the chain I made it up the hill.
And then it all became a bit of a blur – not from the speed of any of my descents, you understand, but from the oil palm and more oil palm nature of the terrain. Variety was provided at one point by a section of rubber, but for the most part we followed trails wending their way through rows and rows of oil palm. I know it is not very PC to like oil palm but to ride through I think it is great. The tracks are wide enough that I can trundle along slowly on one side and there is plenty of room for speedier souls to pass. There is also plenty of shade, it is really green and you meet the occasional cow. The downside is of course that it all looks the same and the cows crap in the middle of the trail. Today’s oil palm was no exception. The tracks were ride-able even for me and the hills were not too demoralizing. There was one I had to walk up, but as I have been out of action for a while I am going to allow myself that. The obligatory group of alarmed cattle had such a cute calf with them that I had to forgive them their lousy toilet habits.
Scattered at intervals along the route we negotiated the hazards – a large ditch to carry our bikes across and some stream crossings involving a bit of a scramble. After nearly 2 hours of riding we emerged from the shade to the openness of the strange ghost town area where, at a guard house in the middle of nowhere, I stopped to take advantage of the “KLMBH Fruit and Drinks Sale”. Some children here sold me chilled melon and a can of 100Plus which saw us through the last couple of shadeless kilometres.
So, I discovered my knee did hold up, I am fit enough to get round and I did not get lost. I could do better when it comes to using the gears, but then that is what the next bash is for.
Venue: Lembah Beringin
Date: Sunday, 2 June 2013
Hares: Nik Mohd Zaim, Lembah Beringin boys and Beringin Bikerz Club
Alright, let’s jump right to the point. Verdict on the bash? F***ing awesome. Yes, I said it, I think this was a really well done ride, and even more so since it was done by newbies. This gang has never set a ride before, and they went out and created something in Lembah Beringin that needs to be ridden again and again. If this was Britain’s Got Talent show, you clearly would have made it to the next round!
To be honest, I went here today thinking that I needed to manage my expectations; know that paper would be scarce, paper would be confusing, checks would be too easy, the ride wouldn’t be that scenic, and everything else negative that I could think of which typically comes when we have virgin Hares. You have now debunked that perception. Well done guys and thank you.
A little more details than just this!
Ages ago I used to run in Lembah Beringin and we parked nearby the Sekolah before it was even built. This was in the late 90s just after the Asian Economic Crisis. It was meant to be a place for people to live to escape the city, yet still close enough to commute to KL on a daily basis. Unfortunately, the economic crisis impacted the developers and people in general, and the area became full of abandoned properties. Those abandoned properties still dot the landscape as could be seen by the link homes directly across from the school, but the area seems to be having a bit of a revival.
I hit the nail on the head with one or two predictions for the day, but was squashed with a couple of others. One prediction was that it would take 30 minutes to reach LB… Well, thanks to the new wheels, I made it there in 28 minutes from Desa Sri Hartamas J. I think Rob could have made in about 20 minutes or less in his suped up Audi. When I arrived at 8 am he, Alan and Jerry already had the canopies set up, but with only Alan’s Honda CRV sitting there. Eh? No yellow Banshee car?! No Audi?! Seems they had a group hug experience and all shared a ride to the bash site!
The other piece that was accurate was that there were rolling hills, but what I forgot was that the southwest quadrant of the area was a wee bit more than just rolling. Sorry guys for those who I told “oh, it’s all just rolling hills”!!! I did say that if I was wrong it was Rob’s fault and not mine, so I stand vindicated of any wrongness spouting from my mouth!
And slowly more and more people trickled in. I’m surprised that there weren’t hordes of KLMBHers in attendance, though. What was the count at the end of the day? 150? Was there a recount on the election results from GE13 going on someplace? Another protest gathering? Or were people worried about my other erroneous prediction; newbies setting a ride?! Again, squash that for future reference … all of us J!
Interesting to note how many families came today; fathers and sons, husbands and wives, or the entire family. Superb! Of course I had to practice subliminal advertising with Conrad’s son, Harry. He was riding what has to be one of the smallest bikes I’ve ever seen ridden on a bash. Told him that as he grew bigger and needed an upgrade, to make sure that he asked for “Shimano XTR components and a composite frame.” Harry furiously scribbled notes and firmly lodged it in his mind, much to the chagrin of Conrad!
Then there was Shiney with his son, Noah. Now here is a poor state of affairs if I’ve ever seen it. Can you imagine having to ride with Shiney all the time, let alone listen to him? My gosh. I wonder if he launches into his non-stop wisecracks with his son like he does with us?! Actually, I think he probably was … since somewhere along the ride, towards the end, we came across them climbing a hill in reverse. Shiney claims he was taking a piss when Noah kept riding, but that’s bollocks. We know he was talking so much, didn’t pay attention to paper, and the next thing they knew they were going in the wrong direction! Well done, dad!!!
And shame on you, husbands, for not paying attention to your wives! I think one lass a) won’t be riding for a while and b) won’t be talking to her hubby for the next few days. The night before, he said “come and join me for an easy ride with the KLMBH, honey. It’ll be nice to do a little us time on the trails.” I wonder if she was thinking about that when she endo’d on one of the descents! Now, I didn’t see this happen, but I hope she doesn’t have any scrapes and bruises on her face. Imagine having to sit next to her at dinner while being scolded for bringing her along and … trying to keep a straight face as you looked at the bandages! Okay, probably not totally accurate, but my over-active mind just has this image stuck up there J.
Then there is Mike Phoon. His wife, Evanna, has really been scorching the trails in Kiara becoming almost as fit as Mike is, and probably better at technical climbing than he is. However, when Mike and I got back to the Bash site today, he waited and waited and waited and waited. Pondering where said wifey was! While on the trail still, said wifey managed to post on FaceBook how hot of a day it was and how Mike Kwan was needed to repair a sidewall tear in her lovely, sort of new, 29er wheel! So, Mr. Phoon, a) why haven’t you taught her how to repair a tire problem and b) why weren’t you there to help her?!!! Case-in-point, Patrick Potvin even rode with his girlfriend, Aida, and helped her repair about five flats along the way! Now there’s a real man … staying with the better half! Ooops. Okay, so Liz also had her own gear problems today, saved by Loon J. As the scribe, I won’t elaborate on that!
Let me jump around some more and go to the start of the ride! This began at almost 9:30 am following a superb briefing by Nik, our illustrious lead hare. Told us that long was on shredded paper, short on square paper and that the two intersected each other about three times. He also gave just the right amount of knowledge on what to expect, had tape in his pocket to show us what he did for the cautious areas, etc. Brilliantly stated. On-On.
My company for the entire ride was the super fit Oskar (with a “k” from Sweden) who is a gentleman … much better than our other fellow FROPs who tried to abandon us later on! As we set off, I remember how at an earlier Bash he was a little stunned at the heat of KL having arrived in October 2012 from the colder climates of Northern Europe! Well, he now seems well acclimatized having literally soared up the hills that I told people didn’t exist, leaving me in the dust more oft than not! The surroundings were full of sunny, blue skies, spindly Acacia Mangium trees, double-track plantation roads and did I mention hills? I mean hills with real climbs? Climbs that were brutal in the open terrain on a hot and sunny day?! Oh, but it was only rolling hills, right?!
The first check was 5.5-km from the start of the ride and this was pretty much a piss to break. No imprints in the grass going forward, so after a lesson in American Indian pathfinding to Oskar, we turned around and went in the forward direction onto paper. And another lesson here for the fellow FROPs that joined us later (e.g. Roberto, Mike Phoon and a few others): we waited at the start of the paper until we were certain that a) the paper was closed and b) our fellow FROPs were there to continue the pleasant ride together!!!
On-On. More damn hills in the sun!!! Did I say there were hills? And man did we climb this time around … at around the 8-km point we started to go vertical. I was able to ride the first steep climb up loose gravel, and just kept grinding away on my lovely 2-10 gear train. Oskar, in front of me, rounded a bend and disappeared. When I rounded the bend I thought “oh shit” … because the road was still climbing … and up near the top was our Acclimatized Swede still on his saddle. I tilted my bike to the side, planted right foot, unclipped, and started walking. Looking at my heart rate monitor at this point, it was at 187 bpm. What’s that formula for max heart rate?!!! 220 – age? Shit. I died back there since I was over my max according to normal medical science!
Climbing back into my saddle just after that section, we continued to ascend to the peak where, at 185-meters elevation, we encountered a panoramic view of the entire area; 365 degrees of majestic scenery as far as the eye could see. Great view … oh … and Check #2. Sh**. This meant only one direction to go to check … somewhere down!!! Yours truly went forward and was a kind soul letting my fellow FROPs rest. What a gentleman I am, see Mike and Roberto, take note!!! Fellow FROPs help out fellow FROPs! We look after our own J. After going down for 200 meters, I found zippo, nada, zero, rien de tout … and turned around to push my bike back up to the bl**dy check. Didn’t I say to someone that newbie hares don’t know how to set good checks? That they would all be a piece of cake? Nik, hats off to you!
Back up and over the hill. Off goes Megat to the back-right trail, and yours truly said “stuff it” to checking anymore. Someone, Tom (?) went to the left where he soon paper. The problem was that we didn’t know if it was him or Megat calling, and despite repeatedly asking if it was Megat who found paper, he didn’t say “yes or no”! So I bombed down, found the start of paper, caught up with Tom, and we both waited until people joined us. After being assured by Lloyd that the paper was being closed, we all, together, took off. Mike and Roberto, take note at how friendly we all are to one another J!
When we finished that excellent descent, we eventually hit a tarmac road that was quite pleasant; shaded, flat, two orang asli’s bathing in their skivvies in a stream that we passed, little orang asli huts dotting the side of the road, and into palm we came. Right about here, in a nicely shaded area on vivid green grass, we encountered a sign for drinks and food with a Perodua Kancil parked in the shade and an umbrella at the back. I think it said something like “KLMBH Sale: food/ drinks” … and it wasn’t free. Darn. Screw this … keep going! I think this was one of the co-hares or a friend of a friend helping out to make money off of the suffering we were facing! Did anyone stop to take advantage of this roadside treat at 13.3-km into the ride?!
Now, here’s where my bubble burst. I was completely let down by my fellow FROPs when we encountered Check #3! This was at 14.2-km in to the ride, and the check was nestled in the trees on a terrace in stunningly beautiful palm estate. Vivid green colors all over the place; green palm trees, green grass, green moss covered estate road, green sky … sorry … I mean blue skies and … rolling hills … these were the rolling hills I remembered … and the area was real shitty. I mean, there was cow shit everywhere! And cows! I guess that if their dumpings are here, the likelihood of the cows being somewhere nearby increases with time!
Okay, so Roberto goes forward, I go forward, Roberto goes back to the check, I do too, but I continue downwards and check where we came in. I turn around, go back to the check, and my fellow FROPs are gone … all in the span of 2 minutes. WTF?!?!?! I hear On-On being called above me, so I short cut in front of Ian by climbing the terraces to get to the road above, and soon find paper. Chew was closing it like a good lad (thanks Chew). About 200-meters of gentle climbing, I come upon the good natured, fellow FROP, a true gentleman … Oskar … waiting for me! What a nice guy. I ask him, where are the others? He said “about two minutes in front”. WTF?????
I told him, “we’ll catch them on the downhills … Mike doesn’t go fast on those sections, especially if there’s loose gravel! ” Well, we climbed all the way to the top of this hill, skirted onto a palm terrace, and began a series of absolutely smashing downhill sections, both on terraces as well as double track road. Soon, we made a sharp right off the double track onto more single track. This section was great! Tight single track, all rideable, and we were able to blast by the slower rides; some of whom were now Short riders … we had rejoined the Short ride somewhere back there!
After rudely blasting by a few riders on this narrow trail, we eventually came upon a stream crossing, and lo-n-behold, there was Mike and Roberto. Hello there!!! Who are you guys? We don’t recognize you? Are you friends of ours? No, can’t be. Maybe in a previous life … and we spewed, and spluttered by them, ignoring Conrad and Harry trying to cool off in peace in the river. Think we flung Harry aside as we cursed and swore at our former friends, clawing our way up on the other side of the embankment! On-On back onto more fast and flowy single track trail!
This section of shaded trail eventually took us into the back of Lembah Beringin on the road that connects Lembah Beringin to Kerling. Here, we exited, turned left onto the road, turned right at the guard shack/ boom gate, then went back into trails that weaved on abandoned land that was ultimately meant for housing back in the 90s. Coming back onto the road a short distance later, we then cruised up to our cars and the Bash Canopies.
Total distance was 26.6-km, 658-meters of ascending on those rolling hills, and a total of 2 hours to complete.
Now, the scribe report doesn’t end here. On behalf of the KLMBH we need to do a bit of preaching.
Anyone who doesn’t carry at least 2-liters of water, preferably 3-liters, on a KLMBH ride is a daft idiot.
Regardless of whether you’re riding the long or short. Rule-of-thumb is that our body needs to consume 1-liter of water per hour during strenuous exercise. If you expect to be out there longer than 2-hours, carry three liters of water.
The next time that someone fails to do this, and you face problems, we are leaving them out there on your own.
Also note that hot days, which surprisingly exists in KL, tends to sap people’s energy more and cause electrolyte imbalance. This equates to exhaustion and a potential for cramping. Hydration salts, electrolytic replacement supplements, and energy bars/ gels are essential. Bring them next time, or crawl back on your own.
Signing off for the night.
By Michael “Dangerous” Davies
As I’ve never written the minutes, or whatever they are for the Bash, forgive me if I make a hash of it. See what I did there? Hash of it…. yeah. OK I’ll get me coat.
Look, if you want me to do this then you’ll have to get used to sh*t gags like that. I tell it like it is. If I think it’s sh*t then I will say it’s sh*t, simple really.
OK, so it was my last Bash, and this is my first set of minutes, nothing to lose I guess, so I can swear and curse all I want, right? No one will come and kill me in my sleep for offending, or I will just change my name to something like hmmmm let’s see, Dave Chap Malloy. Yes I like that, Mr Chap Malloy. I could change my profession too, maybe I will be a secret agent - Je m’appelle Monsieur Chap Malloy je suis un agent secret - I’ll have a pint of beer thanks very much, no need to shake it.
And so to the task in hand, the minutes or was it hours maybe even days, endless days of riding. Well unfortunately it was about 2hrs 45mins of riding, and all of it fine and dry. I Have to say it was definitely Bash of the year so far, and I’m not saying that because Olivier “Panzer” Falcoz, Scott “Two Dogs F*cking” Roberts and Winston Loo are my mates or because they are big and may beat me up if I say it was sh*t, I genuinely thought is was a top Bash.
Loads of open trails, some awesome descents with plenty of room to let the bike run freely and flow over the terrain. The ascents where not too abrupt and mostly ridable and just long enough to make you feel like you were making an effort without killing you.
So there we are, the minutes, what a lovely morning of riding, aren’t we all so very happy, what a wonderful time, jolly boys and girls after a great morning of bashing, slaps on the back and well done everybody.
Boll*cks, no way, they don’t call me Dangerous for nowt. I must be able to say something a bit more controversial. Let’s try this again.
Well you’ve probably guessed by now that I can’t remember f**k all about the ride, yep it’s just a blur compounded by the fact that I had at least 3 beers at the end of the ride, for re-hydration purposes of course. Ah the bash piss what would we do without it? Yes the main points I remember about the ride is riding behind the ladies with nice bums. We are blessed with some ladies with nice bums on the Bash aren’t we? I mean that as a compliment of course - you’re good riders too… OK I’ll get me coat, again!
OK I told a lie, I do remember something about the Bash, I remember Scott Roberts shouting his head off at the briefing, whatever you do don’t give that man a megaphone. “Can you all hear me?" - yes Scott they can hear you in f**king KL mate. And your swearing, brilliant, the kids were all sniggering at the back, with parents putting hands over ears. Best briefing ever.
So far we have - Bash of the year, nice *sses and best briefing ever, let’s see what other accolades this bash can chalk up. What about the paper, yes there was paper and it was square for the short and shredded for the long with occasional cross cut, or was it cross cut with occasional shredded. Either way wasn’t the paper wonderful and so very white and paper like. I managed to find paper all the way, I guess that’s why I managed to finish, yes this bash did exactly what it said on the tin.
What about the checks? I haven’t got a frickin’ clue who broke the checks and frankly I don’t give a monkey’s uncle, it was probably one of the FRBs and one of the usual suspects. Well done whoever you were, but I would be more impressed if you drank the Bash Piss dry at the end.
Which brings me neatly to what the Bash is all about - yep the end of year piss up…. I for one am mightily pissed off that I probably won’t be able to make it to this year’s piss up. Last year’s piss up was a blinder and I think it will go down in KLMBH history. A swimming pool… genius, Shiney, Winston and Gang you all deserve a medal. I am confident that this year’s Committee, under the awesome leadership of the Cap’n - Captain w@nker that is - will do just as good a job.
Captain w@nker & Gang
What to talk about next? Ah yes Bash #223, I suppose we should talk some more about that. I was fortunate enough to catch up with most of my mates on the ride, it makes a Bash a proper social event when you see all your mates. I will miss the camaraderie, it has been an absolute pleasure riding with each and everyone of you. I remember my first Bash - when I say remember I actually mean I can’t remember a bloody thing, too much beer you see. But it was at Tasik Puteri about 5 years ago, and I did meet my good friend Phil “Cajun” Manfield there, who later became the best man at my wedding. So, although I can’t write a set of minutes for a Bash, what I can do is say is being part of the KLMBH for the last five years has been, what are the words I am looking for here, f**king awesome. You’re all great people, I’ve loved every moment of riding with you all, and I will never remember any of it.
I think I will end with a bit of advice. What we have here in the KLMBH is quite unique. Look around you, see all those mountains covered in rain forest, you don’t get that in many places around the world. And in the places that you do get rain forest, it is usually bloody difficult to access. We have access on our door step, beautiful tropical rain forest on our door step, and we ride our mountain bikes in it every weekend. Amazing right? We love what we do don’t we? Well take it to the next level, get involved, if you’ve never set a bash then get out there and do it, explore. Unless you’ve had your head in the sand for the last 10 years you must have heard of The Plight Of Bukit Kiara. Seriously we can’t let that land turn into a concrete jungle. I’m sure it won’t, but what will happen is it will shrink, and then shrink some more and then eventually turn into some landscaped city park, that will be such a shame. So let your voice be heard, enjoy Bukit Kiara and make sure you take part in the preservation, it won’t look after itself.
Bukit Kiara is being destroyed
Finally as a last ditched attempt to try and redeem these minutes and write something sensible about the ride I called my mates, biggest mistake I’ve ever made on a Wednesday morning. “I can’t remember f**k all about the Bash, help me out here”.
Here’s the list of replies I received:
There we go the Bash has spoken.
Take good care all of you
p/s. Now where to get my name changed?
By Ralf Maurer
After Ali Budiman this is only my second Bash and there is still a lot for me to learn….
In Ali Budiman I learned that you actually can go off paper, if an experienced Basher with the newest Garmin tells you to do so. Note, you should have a GPS yourself though, because he may only get it to 90% right.
Back to the short ride of Hulu Yam though and my learnings today.
Oh, and by the way, mossy slippery stones stay slippery (and mossy) weather you are on your bike or walking (the second may be notably safer though).
Riding with my kids all the FRBs (see the KLMBH website for translation) overtook us right at the start, but soon we caught up with some of them again: flat tire! It looked very old and you could see the threads coming out almost like Alonso’s tires after the race…. Well, good preparation is half the Bash, I thought to myself! (sorry mate, but you know you should have changed that tire before the Bash!). Then two more guys with a flat tire, but these guys were rather well prepared and had all the gears (very well actually, see later).
Soon the first river crossing came and my two boys had to show two nice ladies how to get across (proud they were). Then the second climb approached (yeah, there are no mountains and it’s all flat! Go back to learning No. 1) and walking down the hill came another unlucky guy with a broken derailleur hanger… Bash over, luckily it was not too far to go back!
Mike Kwan , Toh Hoon Chew and the derailleur
Just when we thought we were on the top, it got quite steep once more and at that moment the two guys with flat tire were about to overtake us again, when one of their derailleur hanger broke!! I was just about to take out my cable tie when the guy actually produced a spare hanger!! Well, good preparation is half the Bash, I thought to myself! Well done mate and I hope you finished that bash without any more breakdowns. Although I am sure you would have had the right gear to get you out of that as well.
After a short flat ride, a nice downhill started. I somewhat pitied my little boys on their 20 and 24 inch wheels in all those loose rocks, but they did fairly well. Maybe these two French girls also motivated them to ride just a little bit harder.
The kids were not convinced of the next river crossing though, because there was no way to ride through it: is this really the way Daddy? Well it was and by the time we reached home and we told Mummy about it, it was a big stream and the water reached above the knees and I think there were even some crocodiles…. And we also helped a guy with a Swiss shirt - Mile Phoon - (hey, I should wear this!) and his kid in a trailer to cross the river. Ah yes, and then we had to throw some stones in that river as well, while our Dads brought the bikes across.
Thanks to Olivier Falcoz we also went in our second Bash off paper again (I start to think this guy may actually be bad influence, can anyone confirm/contradict?)!! But those hot spring pools were definitely worth the D-tour (thanks Olivier!). While we were there the guys form the long ride passed and I was most impressed with one guy in his slippers. Well at least he had his helmet, and there is no rule about no slippers! But then again: good preparation is half the Bash!
The rest of the ride was a breeze, nicely flat and my boys were flying after they had some pieces of Powerbar.
A big thank you to the Hares that have been out there more than half a dozen times to prepare this Bash! A truly enjoyable ride today and the paper was laid to perfection and all the cows were kept from eating it!!